The Peaks

I lost momentum.

I didn’t know what to do next, so I kept on doing what wasn’t working.

What wasn’t working?

Meditating wasn’t working.

Sticking to a plan wasn’t working.
   
Finding my next project wasn’t working.

Meditating wasn’t working because I couldn’t make it into a daily habit.

Sticking to a plan wasn’t working because I’ve spread myself too thin. I’m felt like Bilbo, butter that’s been scraped over to much bread.

Finding my next project wasn’t working because I was stuck on failing at meditation and endlessly reliving an old project.

But sometimes losing momentum and getting stuck can be a good thing because you get down into the ruts of life, where the dirt and the mud and puddles go to collect. That’s a place where you get a close up look at the messiness of life. And I learned something down there. I learned that you can stuck down there and wallow in it, splash around in it, claw through it and think there’s no way to get out of it. I learned you can believe that’s the place for you, down in the filth, that you’re meant for the rut. And once you start believing that it’s hard to believe you can find a way out.

But I think I know how to get out of the rut.

First, you have to learn how to focus. That can be hard in life because there always seems like there are a million things that need to get done, and that if you’re not doing those million things then you’re missing out on life itself. But the million things, or the Ten Thousand things as Lao Tzu calls them in the Tao Te Ching, are not what life is made out of. Life is made out of the one thing that is happening Now. There’s one thing that you’re doing and you must focus on that one thing. All of life is contained within that one thing. To rise out of that rut, you must learn to focus on that one thing. For me, that one thing is my writing. Focus.

Second, you must overcome The Fear. The Fear likes to chatter. The Fear likes to remember the past. The Fear loves to focus on all of your mistakes. The Fear loves to whisper about the Others who are doing so much better, who are so much smarter and wiser, who are so much more content. The Fear will destroy you. It will destroy the real you. It wants to kill the Child You. The Child You likes to dress up and make up games and ride a bike and run and it naps when it is tired. The Child You burns up every ounce of energy and then collapses into bed at night and wakes up with dreamy plans. The Child You isn’t afraid to try and fail, because it will just try again. The Child You doesn’t understand that your neighbors car is better or that those shoes are out of style. There is no in style or out of style for the Child You. The Child You buys a car because it’s yellow, not because of the decal on the hood. The Child You doesn’t rue the passing of yesterday, it lives for the day that is. The Child You does not consider death. How do you find the Child You? You have to love yourself. That love will destroy The Fear. Loving yourself means loving your whole story, that amazing story of your life. Love your decisions, love your adventures, love your weaknesses, love your losses, love the times you think you won, love the people around you, love the people that are gone. Love it all. Embrace it, cherish it, laugh about it. Then release it all. Look on it all like a story you read yesterday and come back to The Now, and love it.

Focus and Love.

Focus and Love will take you out of the rut. Focus and Love will show you that you are not part of the muck.

A rut can’t exist without a peak. Two peaks to be precise. Focus and Love will float you out of the rut and take you to the peaks. From there, you can see life as it is; filled with peaks, open and limitless. From the peaks you can breathe the air, feel the breeze, smell the blue sky. Focus and Love will save you and then you can capture your momentum and ride the wind again.